How Much Are You Worth?

[my baby]

The world revolves around money and how much things cost and how much money can be made; in keeping with that materialistic state of mind I questioned my own worth and have come to a surprising conclusion.

First of all how much money does it take to run me for a month?
Well I go to university so tuition broken down per month is: $522.75
I spend approximately $200/month on groceries and food
My phone/internet/cable and others is approximately $300
My rent is $525
My electricity is $30
My textbooks broken down per month is: $125
So far I'm up to $1702.75 for just me...little ol' me.

This is not including clothes, dates and other miscellanious things including my parents phone bill to call me. So I cost about $2000 a month to run.

Now how much am I worth? According to www.humanforsale.com I am worth $1,846,970.
Here's the break down.

Gender: Female $135,000
Age:18 $50,000
Ethnicity:White/Caucasian $130,000
Height:5'4 $10,000
Weight: 150 lbs. ($5,000)
Body Type:
Average $0
Hair Color: Brown $5,000
Eye Color: Brown $1,000
Handed: Right $5,000
Body Hair: A Little Hairy $15,000
Shoe Size: 8 $5,000
Bald: No $0
20/20 Eyesight: No $0
Bra Size: None of Your Business
Cavities:None$5,000
Athletic Ability: Average $25,000
Attractiveness:NA $45,000
IQ: 140 $157,535
SAT Score:1300 $52,200
HS GPA: 3.7 $27,750
Education: Bachelor's Degree $0
Bilingual: No $0
Income: NA $0
Profession: Student $0
Alcohol: Seldom $0
Smoker: No $15,000
Pot: No $10,000
Drugs: No $10,000
Exercise: Occasionally $10,000
Divorced: No $0
Comitted Felony: No $15,000
Watch Television:
Occasionally $5,000
Sexuality: NA $25,000
Style: Excellent $95,000
Artistic: Above Average $45,000
Sense of Humor: Above Average $45,000
Addictive Personality: Yes ($15,000)
Give to Charity: Yes $25,000
Adult Content: Never $0
Gamble: Seldom $0
Multiplier x2
Total: $1,846,970

Daily Forecast: Storms For Next 4 Years

[Kapow]

University has sent me on an emotional rollarcoaster that I would love someone to explain to me. One day I'm happy: I have a job I love at the Sanderson Centre, I'm in the program I want to be in, School is paid for...kinda, I have a beautiful apartment with decent rent and some good new friends and some good old friends. Next day I'm down: I have no money - OSAP has not come through yet, school is a lot of reading, I have weight issues, things aren't exactly where I want to be in many of my relationships, my apartment is a mess - again, nothing to eat, I'm tired. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I think I have come to the conclusion that I am not insane even though my emotions seem to spirial out of control at the most inoppurtune times (is there such thing as an oppourtune time?), that I will survive university even if it kills me (yes I know...oxymoron...well I think YOUR a moron, so there), and that I'm going to make it after all. It's just going to be difficult. So to those that know me, first of all I send my condolensences, secondly I ask for your patience. If you really know me, you I am a tad paranoid, extremely sarcastic and difficult at times, stubborn as a really bad grass stain in my new jeans which I think I will never be able to wear again because its on the ass and it looks very incriminating and can be quite witty if I am awake. Which I hardly am. Anywho - I apologize and thank you for your support of the cause now formely known as "Get Holly Through University So She Can Make Lots of Money and Pay Off Her Debts and Buy a Mini Even Though She Needs to Get Her G1 First But That's Besides the Point" Cause.

[I'm moving on]

I've moved on - both geographicaly (is that a word) and mentally. This week I realize that I say goodbye to the same friends for a second time. I said goodbye to the way I knew them and now I say goodbye to them as they are at this moment. University has made me a different person and I am nieve to think that University has not shaped and reformed the friends of my past. I expect them to stay the same as I left them, so that one day when I go to visit I know where I am and who they are. But alas, I mourn my friends; they are gone. It has only been three weeks of university but the world that we once shared together is destroyed, I mourn that as well. Never again will I return home to the same crowd of friends, never again will the same twos be arm in arm, never again will the same jokes be funny, never again will I return to them and never again will they turn to me. It's only been a few weeks but we have grown up and grown apart. Those seperate paths that were for a brief time united have split, we all go our own ways and I miss the old you.

So dear friends may God hold you close and keep you even if you have given up the faith, even if you never had it. I pray that one day you too will find your home and that the storms don't shatter mine. You will never know how I feel but here it is anyways.

• To J: My heart is still safe, yours has been torn - I'm so sorry I can't be there to hold your hand; you never liked the path I walked anyways.
• To S: You have run away from everything you knew for the bright lights; that light isn't real you know - I hope someone breaks the bulbs and you see the truth again; God wants you back.
• To I: You have betrayed and broken; I have no words for you except do unto others as you shall have them do unto you. Your turns next.
• To A: You need help and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Your Dad is setting the example for your life and your blind to it. I thank God that you no longer can claim her as your own - I just pray she has the strength to get as far away from you as possible. I still dispise you for the way you treated her. I love her and so does God; touch her again and I will go ape on your ass.
• To B: I love you and I hope God holds you as I can't anymore. I hope we stay united but time, distance and jealously, anger on my part have threatened that. I'm sorry. Even if we aren't meant to be close you will always be my friend. Take care always. Take care of yourself always.
• To A: Know what you are dealing with before leading others to it. No more dancing around.
• To M: I never liked you. And you continue to screw things up. Go. Figure.
• To JP: You were a great person and I'm sorry how I acted sometimes. You are a nice person except many find you annoying. Try not to talk as much, you will get farther in life that way. Your faith is something to be envied. Keep up the good work. There is someone for you, just make sure you find her at church and not at McDonalds.
  
  

Poorness

[GROWL]

If I'm going to be poor why can't I be skinny? Doesn't that make sense? Poor ergo lack of money ergo no food ergo skinny. You would think thats the formula. Nope. Poor ergo lack of money ergo sanity to let myself not starve ergo not skinny. I want the Minus Freshman Fifteen. Not a big ass.

By the way I hate the loud tassholes outside my apartment at hours after midnight - screaming and being well tassholes. I wish I was a sniper. I would shoot them and go to sleep. Yes, I'm in a bad mood. Yes Virginia, there is a bitch.

The Student Life: First Apperance of Reality?

[What is reality? Are you sure?]

These are true.
I am in my third official week of university.
I have five classes.
I am broke.

These may or not be true.
University makes my faith rocky.
I'm scared to hand anything in.
Regardless of academia, I still go to school with idiots.
I had soup for lunch.

Which ones are true? What is the truth? How do you know? Are you really sure? What if you don't even exist? Maybe your head is in a jar and is stimulated by a super computer trying to just get you to think you are where you are. But your not. What is the Matrix?

Yes, I know what you are thinking and perhaps it is true...university has made me even more cynical, sarcastic, bitter and broke. But I feel smarter. Is it worth it?

Perhaps I should of taken my money (what money? oh ya, my parents oops!) and run off to Europe for a few years. Maybe I wouldn't be so cynical. Maybe I would. Maybe I would take up smoking, cause thats what they do in Europe. Who knows, who knows anything for sure?

Even Rene Descartes thinks he's sure but he is not. "I think therefore I am." Something that exists must be able to think, must'int it? No Rene, it doesn't - its called artifical intelligence - welcome to the Matrix.

I swear I'm not crazy but are you sure?

Things I've learned since being in University:

1. OSAP is a bitch from hell. They like to not give you money. I'm still waiting for my reduced loan of $1400. What the F!
2. When I'm broke but still have too much pride to wear clothes that I don't consider fashionable I wash them in my bathtub because I don't have to pay for water. I feel amish when I do it.
3. Living at home is easy; so those that do shut the f up. People cook for you, generally supply you with food and laundry is done in a machine not a tub. I'm sorry for being angry but do you know how long it takes for jeans to drip dry?
4. That I am a selfish human being. I have so much stuff yet I always want more. Why can't I just throw my education away, drop all my classes and feed a village in Africa for a millenium. Which will make a greater difference in the world? My education and what I will perhaps do with it in the future or giving life to an entire village? What makes me so special that I get to go to University and they starve?
5. I think I know why genius' go insane. It's because they think too much. Like my previous questions. Erg.
6. I bought a $180 textbook and a homeless woman asked me for money. How much would $180 do for that woman? I gave her my Tim Horton gift certificates; it would of been easier to ignore her than to give her those and see the joy $3 of food brings.
7. I complain about not having groceries but she really doesn't. The guilt builds. Should I apologize for my education and relative wealth?
8. If/when I become a millionaire, I am going to be excentric! I know it. But thats what rich genius' do. MUAH HA HA!
9. Please don't call the people with the rubber room after reading this. I'm just venting. I'm not insane I promise, but do you really know what insane is?
10. Everything is and is not relative. Wrap that around your mind. You can't. Its only a size 2, which is about the size of my ankle. Damn I'm going on a diet.
11. I like lists.

18 is good. I like to vote. My back hurts. My uniform is drying. I like work. I like paycheck better. I have chicken in the fridge. Random Random thoughts.

The End. But is it really? How do you know? God, I hate/love philosophy class.

The Days Go By

I have not blogged in a while and such a shame; that I, a journalist, if only in name cannot lend herself to a few words of woe and glory; sit her butt down and tell her story. POEM'D! Anyways this will be a topical update on everything.

Work
Well my first day was how should we put it...interesting. What I thought would be a two hour shift turned into seven hours of ETA's or in normal speak: Elvis Tribute Artists. And these were hardcore Eli\vis' impersonators my dear. They sang, swang and swagged just like the King himself. Personally, I hate Elvis. My theroy is if he didn't die so "tragically" (overdosed and fat) and his fall from glory wasn't so large (no pun, wait...maybe a pun) he wouldn't have been so fondly remembered. Near the end Elvis wasn't so popular, he was a has been. But because he died in some way other than natural causes (what is unnatural about an overdose? he put too much crap into his body, his body said screw you and he naturally died) he wouldn't be immortalized to the same extent. Either way I really hate Elvis after working that shift.

Church
Yesterday was the first day in two weeks I have been able to get to church and was really looking forward to a good sermon. Instead Sarah and I went downstairs to help out with the little ones. After church I got to talking to Anita and her husband who looks like someone and today in about 40 minutes Sarah, Anita and I are going to paint part of the church. Yeah good deed for the day. I really really love church.

Weekend at Dave's - the Highlights
- Drinking coffee by the river then proceeding to make a "boat" afectionatly named coffee cup - made out of a coffee cup and four pennies. Then watching coffee cup till we could no longer see him - yes, him. Even Dave started refering to coffee cup as a he. LOL
- Throwing pennies into the river and making wishes.
- Running through the sprinkler at the park.
- Eating pitas in a new joint.
- Playing rummy in our pajamas and eating peanut butter cookies
- Just generally being happy.

School
I bought the first of my many textbooks and think they are wunderbar and interesting. Unfournutaly I cannot afford to eat if I buy anymore so I will not. *Sad face* But once I do, oh look out bank account! *Coming Attractions* Yesterday my aunt took me out for lunch and gave me awesome chocolates for my birthday. Today I paint church. Tomorrow I have nothing planned. Wednesday I go to some orientation thingies then Dave comes over. Thursday is my birthday! And Dave is over. Friday Dave is over because it is still my birthday damnit! Saturday Christine comes over! And I got to work. But we hang out when I get home and possibly play the Westlife drinking game! Cause its my birthday damnit! Sunday we go to church, hang out and she goes home *sad face* but school starts the next day! YEAH JOURNALISM! Then I go to school all week (and do all my homework immediately!) and I get picked up thursday night and go to baseball game in Toronto on Friday! Come back home, chill with Dave on Saturday then go to work. Sunday I go to church and go to work and do homework. YEAH! IM SO EXCITING! My life is getting better! Yeah for Wilfrid Laurier and Brantford and Dave and new friends and old friends- who actually visit me! Especially yeah for BIRTHDAY!